Couples Therapy

Are you tired of having the same arguments over and over with the same outcome - leading to more hurt, frustration, and anger? 

  • Do you miss the loving connection you used to share?
  • Are you losing hope for this relationship?     
  • Does it seem that your partner doesn't understand your feelings? 

Maybe you've tried to fix the problems yourself but you keep getting the same results. This may leave you feeling like nothing is going to change and your relationship might be beyond saving.

I work with couples using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) established by Dr. Sue Johnson.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps address the core questions we often ask ourselves about our most important relationship: "Do I matter deeply to my partner? Will he/she be there for me when I need them most? Do I feel safe and secure enough in this relationship to be my full and authentic self?"

These questions are typically at the root of what couples fight about: the emotional bond and security in their relationship. When we fear that the answer to one of the above questions may be "no," it can cause us to feel isolated and alone, and sometimes as though we are fighting for survival itself. 

And fight we will. Or withdraw.

EFT – a highly researched, effective, and evidence-based treatment – focuses on the emotional bond between partners, presuming that most relational problems arise from a disruption in this bond. It helps partners learn not only to be more open and trusting with each other, but also to reach out for one another more effectively.

As we work together, you will learn to understand the negative cylce you and your partner get caught up in that hasn't been working. We will work to create a relationship that does work - where each of you feel heard and understood.  You will also learn how to reduce the reactivity, avoid pushing hot buttons and instead, be able to respond (and be responded to) in a way that turns every opportunity for fighting into an opportunity for a deeper loving connection. Instead of turning away from each other, you'll be turning toward one another... while one is listening, the other is feeling heard. Both of you will experience loving gestures. 

What if I am in a same sex relationship? You are a couple too! EFT has been found to be very effective in same sex relationships. This is effective for any kind of relationship: family relationships, live in couples, mother-daughter relationships, sibling relationships. If you have a relationship, I can help! 

Call me today at (805) 428-6655 to schedule your couples counseling session in Simi Valley.

A listing for other EFT Therapists in the US and International locations can be found on my 'Helpful Links' page.